A Kentucky couple, both bona fide rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband 'fixed'. The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision, why after nine children, would they choose to do this. The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish. |
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Redneck Vasectomy
Monday, August 4, 2008
Redneck Stonehenge
HOOPER, Utah (AP) - A Utah farmer has erected a fence in his backyard made of three old cars sticking up in the air to send a message to new neighbors that he can do whatever he wants on his farm (news clip).
Rhett Davis calls it is his redneck Stonehenge.
He came up with the idea after neighbors who recently moved into homes next to his hayfield complained about his farm.
Davis says he offered to pay half the cost of a fence between his property and the others and to build it. He says his neighbors declined the offer, saying it would block their view. Neighbors declined to comment to the Standard-Examiner of Ogden.
Davis says he used a backhoe to dig three large holes on the edge of his property, then took three cars that had competed in demolition derbies and planted them nose-first into the ground.
Davis doesn't intend to keep the cars up permanently. He says he's worked things out with the neighbors.
Guns
Barack Obama, the Presidential Democratic Party candidate, is for banning all guns in America . He is considered by those who have dealt with him as a bit more than just a little self-righteous.
At a recent rural elementary school assembly in East Texas, he asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.
Then he said into the microphone, "Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence." Then, little Richard Earl, with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced
the quiet and said: "'Well, dumb-ass, stop clapping!"
At a recent rural elementary school assembly in East Texas, he asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.
Then he said into the microphone, "Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence." Then, little Richard Earl, with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced
the quiet and said: "'Well, dumb-ass, stop clapping!"
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Fly the Flag Campaign
Please join America in this FLY THE FLAG campaign and PLEASE forward this URL or cut and paste into an email immediately to everyone in your address book asking them to also forward it. We have a little more than one month and counting to get the word out all across this great land and into every community in the United States of America .
If you forward this to at least 11 people and each of those people do the same ... you get the idea.
THE PROGRAM:
On Thursday, September 11th, 2008, an American flag should be displayed outside every home, apartment, office, and store in the United States . Every individual should make it their duty to display an American flag on this seventh anniversary of one our country's worst tragedies. We do this honor of those who lost their lives on 9/11, their families, friends and loved ones who continue to endure the pain, and those who today are fighting at home and abroad to preserve our cherished freedoms.
In the days, weeks and months following 9/11, our country was bathed in American flags as citizens mourned the incredible losses and stood shoulder-to-shoulder against terrorism. Sadly, those flags have all but disappeared. Our patriotism pulled us through some tough times and it shouldn't take another attack to galvanize us in solidarity. Our American flag is the fabric of our country and together we can prevail over terrorism of all kinds
Action Plan:
So, here's what we need you to do ...
(1) Forward this URL or cut and paste into an email to everyone you know (at least 11 people). Please don't be the one to break this chain. Take a moment to think back to how you felt on 9/11 and let those sentiments guide you.
(2) Fly an American flag of any size on 9/11. Honestly, Americans should fly the flag year-round, but if you don't, then at least make it a priority on this day.
Thank you for your participation. God Bless You and God Bless America!
Another thing I plan on doing is taking a minute to pray at 9:11 A.M. to remember the innocent people and the heroes who lost their lives, and their family members.
If you forward this to at least 11 people and each of those people do the same ... you get the idea.
THE PROGRAM:
On Thursday, September 11th, 2008, an American flag should be displayed outside every home, apartment, office, and store in the United States . Every individual should make it their duty to display an American flag on this seventh anniversary of one our country's worst tragedies. We do this honor of those who lost their lives on 9/11, their families, friends and loved ones who continue to endure the pain, and those who today are fighting at home and abroad to preserve our cherished freedoms.
In the days, weeks and months following 9/11, our country was bathed in American flags as citizens mourned the incredible losses and stood shoulder-to-shoulder against terrorism. Sadly, those flags have all but disappeared. Our patriotism pulled us through some tough times and it shouldn't take another attack to galvanize us in solidarity. Our American flag is the fabric of our country and together we can prevail over terrorism of all kinds
Action Plan:
So, here's what we need you to do ...
(1) Forward this URL or cut and paste into an email to everyone you know (at least 11 people). Please don't be the one to break this chain. Take a moment to think back to how you felt on 9/11 and let those sentiments guide you.
(2) Fly an American flag of any size on 9/11. Honestly, Americans should fly the flag year-round, but if you don't, then at least make it a priority on this day.
Thank you for your participation. God Bless You and God Bless America!
Another thing I plan on doing is taking a minute to pray at 9:11 A.M. to remember the innocent people and the heroes who lost their lives, and their family members.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Frog Leggs
If you drop a frog in boiling water he will leap right out. If you slowly heat the water he will be content until it's too late to get out. That is exactly how history works. It moves slowly and we never really see any danger until it's too late.
Remember how suppressed workers were before unions came along? The unions leveled the playing field. Unfortunately, over a long period of time the pendulum swung too far. Slowly, businesses and factories closed and jobs left the country. We were comfortable and didn't see the change coming. We blamed everyone except ourselves for what happened. We weren't alert to how slow things change over time.
World War II, and the Korean War, demonstrated how powerful a united nation could be. Our nation, and our families, were united. The father was the head of the family and the President was the head of the nation. Both were highly respected. We were content and happy.
We were good at fighting a hot war but we were unprepared to fight a cold war with the communists in the 50's. They knew they couldn't change us but they didn't care. Their philosophy was to wait it out and capture the minds of our children. They loaded our colleges with many of their professors and waited. It didn't take long to see the results.
The '60s ushered in the radicals, drug culture, student protesters, and the Vietnam War. The aim of the cold war was to divide and conquer. They divided our families and the nation. The secret to defeating a polite and respectful people is to scream. The louder and longer you scream the better your chance of winning. Radicals are masters at this form of attack. They know if you constantly scream and repeat a lie it will eventually become the truth.
The media, and Hollywood , hammered us with hate America themes and stories. Our service men, and women, were jeered, cursed, and spit on. Even the people, one of whom later wanted to become their President, trashed them. We lost our first War in history. There was no hero's homecoming for our fighting men and women.
The Reverend King, who was raised in the old school, peacefully changed the race issue and united the people. When he died the new breed of leaders like the Jesse Jackson's, Lewis Farrakon's, Al Sharpton's, and Rev. Wright's put a lid on his efforts and turned racism into a money making machine.
Corporations were green-mailed by threats of protests, product boycotts, or endless lawsuits. Every issue, large or small, became a race issue. The public recoiled in fear of being called a racist. Their voices were silenced because one word could cost you a career, get you fired, or get you sued.
Even politicians buckled under to the pressure. The Florida legislature issued a formal apology for having slavery 200 years ago. They were thanked by being asked for compensation. There is no end in sight for this kind of nonsense. America didn't capture slaves and bring them to America . Their own people sold them to slave traders from several nations. This knowledge doesn't stop the screamers. History is what it is and you can't change it. There have been many tragic events in history. You acknowledge them and move on.
They divided our nation into two separate Americas . We now have Americans, and African-Americans, although Africa has nothing to do with being an American. You can be one or the other but not both. You are what you were born to be. You do not subordinate our country to any foreign nation. It's equivalent to flying the African flag above the Stars and Stripes. If you hyphenate two countries America always comes first.
This election year could be the turning point in our history because the frog theory has come into play. It's time to step back and look at how the country has slowly changed since the cold war started. Don't get caught up in all the hype.
George McGovern was the first Presidential candidate to test the waters with college students. The Clintons played a big role in his campaign. It was the worst campaign ever run. He was crushed in the election.
Step two was to infiltrate all the information vehicles such as radio, newspapers, magazines, TV and movies. They were quite successful at that. Jimmy Carter was the first President to demonstrate the leadership skills of the far left. Weak military, high taxes, runaway inflation, 19% mortgage rates, and plain incompetence ended his career in Washington . Iran , a small country at the time, took American hostages and kicked sand in our face. By negotiating from weakness Carter could not get the hostages released.
The big benefit of the Carter years is that they were followed by the Reagan years. The nation got a clear look at the difference between a weak nation and a strong nation. Every student should know this difference. When Ronald Reagan took over the hostages were quickly released, taxes were lowered, inflation dropped, mortgage rates dropped, and the military was strengthened. Russia quickly waved the white flag and waited for another Democrat term.
Clinton took over Carter's uncompleted social programs. He weakened the military and tried to pass large government programs. An Intern derailed his Presidency. While he was tied up with his personal problems his lawyers ran the country. He passed up three opportunities to take out Osama Bin Laden. This eventually cost us the loss of our Twin Towers , thousands of American lives, and got us involved in a war with Iraq .
By the end of his term the left had captured a large share of the media and it flexed its muscle in 2000. The hate Bush campaign got off to a roaring start. The brainwashing theory of repeating the same story over and over again was launched.
There were endless stories about our evil nation and its President. Top-secret plans were leaked to the press and printed for the entire world to see. Hollywood cranked out documentaries about the evil Bush administration and our evil military. They laid the groundwork for the next election. The ACLU flooded the courts with lawsuits and the Democrat party became a law firm. Almost every incumbent, or his or her spouse, is a lawyer.
They now have the perfect candidate because they can squash criticism by playing the race card. If you don't like Obama, or criticize him, you are a racist. They can hide his inexperience and background by turning him into a rock star and singing change and hope. They don't tell us what kind of change, or how it will be done, only that you should hope for the best. By keeping the hype going they don't have to put anything of substance on the table.
The only thing we really know about Obama is that his wife has never been proud to be an American. They want us to believe that his liberal college professors, Rev. Pfleger, his ties to radicals Bill Ayer and Lewis Farrakon, and listening to the Rev. Wright's hate talks for 20 years, had no influence on his thinking. If they didn't, then who did? He wasn't in business and didn't see fit to serve his country. These people launched his political career and their organizations received earmarks in return for their campaign donations and political help. They must have had some influence. Rev. Wright's church received over $15 million. That's only one small local church. Think on a national scale.
The change being promoted is a change back to the Carter years. It started in 2006 when the lawyer party took over. There have been endless lawsuits and investigations in retaliation for the Clinton years. It keeps the lawyers busy but does nothing for the economy. The economy has been in a downward spiral since they took over.
Returning to the Carter years of high taxes, high inflation, and a weak military is not the change we are looking for. We cannot cower to a bunch of crazies whose only goal in life is to kill us.
The old sages (over 50) will have to play a big role in this election. The young people simply don't know what the aged know. The advantage of aging is the knowledge you accumulated. You know what United States means. You know what the seldom-heard word respect means. You know how wonderful freedom and independence is. You know the difference between a strong and a weak nation; and you know what it takes to keep it strong. You know history because you have lived it.
Although the old guard is dying off, and getting too tired to fight, they have to muster one more charge. If they don't, our children, and grandchildren, will never know the joy and freedom that is the bedrock of our country. The heat is slowly being turned up and the water is getting hot. The old frogs better start jumping before it's too late.
Remember how suppressed workers were before unions came along? The unions leveled the playing field. Unfortunately, over a long period of time the pendulum swung too far. Slowly, businesses and factories closed and jobs left the country. We were comfortable and didn't see the change coming. We blamed everyone except ourselves for what happened. We weren't alert to how slow things change over time.
World War II, and the Korean War, demonstrated how powerful a united nation could be. Our nation, and our families, were united. The father was the head of the family and the President was the head of the nation. Both were highly respected. We were content and happy.
We were good at fighting a hot war but we were unprepared to fight a cold war with the communists in the 50's. They knew they couldn't change us but they didn't care. Their philosophy was to wait it out and capture the minds of our children. They loaded our colleges with many of their professors and waited. It didn't take long to see the results.
The '60s ushered in the radicals, drug culture, student protesters, and the Vietnam War. The aim of the cold war was to divide and conquer. They divided our families and the nation. The secret to defeating a polite and respectful people is to scream. The louder and longer you scream the better your chance of winning. Radicals are masters at this form of attack. They know if you constantly scream and repeat a lie it will eventually become the truth.
The media, and Hollywood , hammered us with hate America themes and stories. Our service men, and women, were jeered, cursed, and spit on. Even the people, one of whom later wanted to become their President, trashed them. We lost our first War in history. There was no hero's homecoming for our fighting men and women.
The Reverend King, who was raised in the old school, peacefully changed the race issue and united the people. When he died the new breed of leaders like the Jesse Jackson's, Lewis Farrakon's, Al Sharpton's, and Rev. Wright's put a lid on his efforts and turned racism into a money making machine.
Corporations were green-mailed by threats of protests, product boycotts, or endless lawsuits. Every issue, large or small, became a race issue. The public recoiled in fear of being called a racist. Their voices were silenced because one word could cost you a career, get you fired, or get you sued.
Even politicians buckled under to the pressure. The Florida legislature issued a formal apology for having slavery 200 years ago. They were thanked by being asked for compensation. There is no end in sight for this kind of nonsense. America didn't capture slaves and bring them to America . Their own people sold them to slave traders from several nations. This knowledge doesn't stop the screamers. History is what it is and you can't change it. There have been many tragic events in history. You acknowledge them and move on.
They divided our nation into two separate Americas . We now have Americans, and African-Americans, although Africa has nothing to do with being an American. You can be one or the other but not both. You are what you were born to be. You do not subordinate our country to any foreign nation. It's equivalent to flying the African flag above the Stars and Stripes. If you hyphenate two countries America always comes first.
This election year could be the turning point in our history because the frog theory has come into play. It's time to step back and look at how the country has slowly changed since the cold war started. Don't get caught up in all the hype.
George McGovern was the first Presidential candidate to test the waters with college students. The Clintons played a big role in his campaign. It was the worst campaign ever run. He was crushed in the election.
Step two was to infiltrate all the information vehicles such as radio, newspapers, magazines, TV and movies. They were quite successful at that. Jimmy Carter was the first President to demonstrate the leadership skills of the far left. Weak military, high taxes, runaway inflation, 19% mortgage rates, and plain incompetence ended his career in Washington . Iran , a small country at the time, took American hostages and kicked sand in our face. By negotiating from weakness Carter could not get the hostages released.
The big benefit of the Carter years is that they were followed by the Reagan years. The nation got a clear look at the difference between a weak nation and a strong nation. Every student should know this difference. When Ronald Reagan took over the hostages were quickly released, taxes were lowered, inflation dropped, mortgage rates dropped, and the military was strengthened. Russia quickly waved the white flag and waited for another Democrat term.
Clinton took over Carter's uncompleted social programs. He weakened the military and tried to pass large government programs. An Intern derailed his Presidency. While he was tied up with his personal problems his lawyers ran the country. He passed up three opportunities to take out Osama Bin Laden. This eventually cost us the loss of our Twin Towers , thousands of American lives, and got us involved in a war with Iraq .
By the end of his term the left had captured a large share of the media and it flexed its muscle in 2000. The hate Bush campaign got off to a roaring start. The brainwashing theory of repeating the same story over and over again was launched.
There were endless stories about our evil nation and its President. Top-secret plans were leaked to the press and printed for the entire world to see. Hollywood cranked out documentaries about the evil Bush administration and our evil military. They laid the groundwork for the next election. The ACLU flooded the courts with lawsuits and the Democrat party became a law firm. Almost every incumbent, or his or her spouse, is a lawyer.
They now have the perfect candidate because they can squash criticism by playing the race card. If you don't like Obama, or criticize him, you are a racist. They can hide his inexperience and background by turning him into a rock star and singing change and hope. They don't tell us what kind of change, or how it will be done, only that you should hope for the best. By keeping the hype going they don't have to put anything of substance on the table.
The only thing we really know about Obama is that his wife has never been proud to be an American. They want us to believe that his liberal college professors, Rev. Pfleger, his ties to radicals Bill Ayer and Lewis Farrakon, and listening to the Rev. Wright's hate talks for 20 years, had no influence on his thinking. If they didn't, then who did? He wasn't in business and didn't see fit to serve his country. These people launched his political career and their organizations received earmarks in return for their campaign donations and political help. They must have had some influence. Rev. Wright's church received over $15 million. That's only one small local church. Think on a national scale.
The change being promoted is a change back to the Carter years. It started in 2006 when the lawyer party took over. There have been endless lawsuits and investigations in retaliation for the Clinton years. It keeps the lawyers busy but does nothing for the economy. The economy has been in a downward spiral since they took over.
Returning to the Carter years of high taxes, high inflation, and a weak military is not the change we are looking for. We cannot cower to a bunch of crazies whose only goal in life is to kill us.
The old sages (over 50) will have to play a big role in this election. The young people simply don't know what the aged know. The advantage of aging is the knowledge you accumulated. You know what United States means. You know what the seldom-heard word respect means. You know how wonderful freedom and independence is. You know the difference between a strong and a weak nation; and you know what it takes to keep it strong. You know history because you have lived it.
Although the old guard is dying off, and getting too tired to fight, they have to muster one more charge. If they don't, our children, and grandchildren, will never know the joy and freedom that is the bedrock of our country. The heat is slowly being turned up and the water is getting hot. The old frogs better start jumping before it's too late.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Woe
At a southern university, students in the psychology program were attending their first class on emotional extremes.
"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "what is the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness," said the student.
"And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.
"Elation," she said.
"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "what about the opposite of woe?"
The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be 'giddy up' ."
"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "what is the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness," said the student.
"And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.
"Elation," she said.
"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "what about the opposite of woe?"
The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be 'giddy up' ."
Military Rules of Engagement
Marine Corps:
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.
Navy SEALs:
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust Speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.
Army Rangers:
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher Up" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.
Army:
1. Select a new beret to wear.
2. Sew patch on right shoulder.
3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear.
Air Force:
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask "what's a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" PowerPoint presentation.
6. Wine & dine "key" Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to Ground Ordinance Launching Facility for 1445 tee-time.
Navy:
1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Watch porn.
4. Deploy the Marines.
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.
Navy SEALs:
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust Speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.
Army Rangers:
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher Up" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.
Army:
1. Select a new beret to wear.
2. Sew patch on right shoulder.
3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear.
Air Force:
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask "what's a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" PowerPoint presentation.
6. Wine & dine "key" Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to Ground Ordinance Launching Facility for 1445 tee-time.
Navy:
1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Watch porn.
4. Deploy the Marines.
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